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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24487492">What now?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jazminelaine/pseuds/Jazminelaine'>Jazminelaine</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Blowjobs, Caring Peter, Established Relationship, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Self-Harm, Smut, mean peter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 04:13:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,214</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24487492</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jazminelaine/pseuds/Jazminelaine</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Wade catches Peter talking to someone else and doesn’t know what to do.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Peter Parker/Wade Wilson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>61</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. What now?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>There is self harm and depressing issues in this. Wade POV</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Standing in the kitchen Wade watches Peter sit on the sofa texting. He stands there letting the food burn watching him. He walks behind him quietly and looks over Peters shoulder. He sees with sharp eyes a woman’s name on the top of the messages and a string of words behind it. Jennifer it read. Wade thought back to any friends of Peters and came up blank. No one named Jennifer in their small circle of friends or even in the avengers. Peter didn’t have many friends but met many people at work at STARK. Peter looked up suddenly with a crease between his brows.<br/>
“What’s wrong Wade?”<br/>
“Foods ready Petey I made some lasagna special just for you.” Wade smiled down at his boyfriend.<br/>
“Bring it over babe we can eat on the sofa and watch tv together” Peter sat up moving the pillows around.<br/>
Wade walked into the kitchen trying to tell himself that this mystery woman was someone random. No one he needed to worry about. Peter loved him. They have been together for years. They fought crime together, they slept together, and they lived together. No he shouldn’t be worried. He was fine.<br/>
Wade was not fine. He’s been three days and he has caught Peter texting Jennifer every single day. Hiding behind his phone. Texting her. He was normally using it to look up dorky science stuff or watching YouTube videos but he would get the random pop up text from her. He always texted her back. Wade would sometimes sneak a peek and see emojis and long messages. He felt his gut twist and turn. He was starting to get worried and would finally ask who this random Jennifer was.<br/>
“Who you texting Petey?” Wade asked nonchalantly.<br/>
“No one” Peter put his phone on his stomach facing down.<br/>
They sat on the sofa and were watching some old tv show when Wade finally asked. Wade looked down at Peter in disbelief, why would Peter lie to him?<br/>
“So then who is Jennifer? A coworker?” Wade  was starting to get nervous.<br/>
“No one. Don’t trip.”<br/>
Wades stomach fell to his feet. Peter was cheating. There’s no other reason to act like this.<br/>
“I just want to know who you’ve been talking to all weekend. I feel like every time I look over your texting someone and I should be the only person you text Petey.”<br/>
“Don’t you trust me?” Peter asked Wade with some anger behind his words. Wade was so confused why was he mad? He asked such a simple question. Who is this random lady? Of course Wade trusted Peter he trusted him with his life he loved this man.<br/>
“Of course I trust you Petey I just want to-“<br/>
“Then cut it out and drop it.” Peter said with a harsh voice. Wade sat there staring at the wall just behind the tv. Not really listening to the tv anymore and not caring. Peter laid back on the sofa and put his feet on Wades lap. Normally Wade would rub his feet and try to start some sexy time but not today. Once he heard credits music he got up to go to the bathroom. He stood in front of the mirror and looked at himself. Peter didn’t let him wear a mask anymore in the house after the first year they moved in together.<br/>
Wade hadn’t felt too depressed in awhile. Peter normally kept him happy every single day even in small ways. Wade knew this day was coming, Peter finally leaving him for someone else. A pretty woman or even a man. Someone better,smarter, not a killer. Deep depressed thoughts haunted his head. Peter would know if Wade killed himself. He hasn’t done it in years. But hurting himself was different. He would heal so fast Peter wouldn’t know. Wade opened the mirror to check the cabinet behind it for what he needed. He found the razors easily. Peter shaved his face once a week wanting to be clean shaven always thinking of how sensitive Wades skin was. Maybe he wasn’t shaving for wade but to impress some woman at work. Opening the razors box Wade took one of them to his arms and held it to his skin. What if Peter finds out. He will be mad at Wade. But what did it matter anymore it’s not like he wanted to stay with him. He pressed the razor to his skin and let the blood fall down to the floor. Quickly he put his arm above the sink so there wasn’t a mess to clean up after. He sliced into his arms till he felt dizzy and light headed. His skin healing as fast as he sliced but he kept going till he felt the high of pain. Cleaning the razor and the sink he put everything back the way it was. His arm was healed and looked fine so he knew Peter wouldn’t notice anything.<br/>
Wade walked back into the living room. Stood silently behind the sofa watching Peter text that woman while the tv played the next episode. Wade wanted to break down and cry and scream. ‘Fuck what do I do now?’. I walk back into the bathroom and lock the door. Hoping he doesn’t find me. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Where is he?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Peter finds out what Wade was doing in the bathroom and Wade runs</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Peters POV</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I sit in anger and tears. Why didn’t he tell me? What the hell happened? Why didn’t he talk to me?<br/>
I caught him slicing his arms in the bathroom. I ran to his side and held him as he pushed me away. Wade never wants to show his feelings. He never wants to show his tears. Hiding. He’s so good at hiding. I’m in our bedroom waiting for him to come home.<br/>
He ran away once I caught him in the bathroom. I watched him leave me. I watched him grab his gear put on his suit and walk out the door. I know he’s probably finding one of his many hide outs and staying the night. I won’t hear from him for a few days. I won’t know he’s okay. He’s probably going to kill himself a few times. I cry harder.<br/>
Why didn’t he come to me? Why didn’t he tell me what was going on? I’m so fucken confused on why he would go back to this self hurting. Was it something I did? I rummage my brain thinking of anything but nothing. Fuck. I need to find him.<br/>
I call his phone for the hundredth time today. I’m pacing the floor running my hands across my face. Fuck Wade answer the phone! The phone calls go straight to voice mail. He isn’t going to answer me any time soon. Fuck!<br/>
I put on my suit quickly and crawl out our bedroom window. Swinging around the city usually makes me feel amazing but right now I’m not even paying attention to the wind in my ears.<br/>
Swinging to a tall building I look around. I stand at the top and pace the roof. Where could he be? Where are you Wade</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>These are straight coming from the heart and my own relationship  thank you for any kudos or comments</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Why am I so stupid?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Wade finally goes to see Peter. Smut.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Wade pov</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>My lips stretched around his dick feels amazing. The burn of my jaw, the ache I will feel for days after this is over. I close my eyes tight, holding back tears from choking and because I don’t want to see his face. I can feel the pulse of his dick in my mouth against my tongue. The weight of his dick and the slap of his balls on my chin. I miss this. I love this. Why did I agree to this? He hurt me so much but yet here I am. It’s been weeks since we have seen each other.<br/>
He called me none stop. He went to all the safe houses and bars. He seriously even asked other hero’s if they have seen me. Gotta love the man for trying. I left the country as soon as I could. I ran like the little bitch that I was. I had to lick my wounds and stop thinking of that woman on his phone. How Peter was too good for me and how me leaving him was the right thing. What was he going to say? That he wasn’t perfect that he loved me? Yea right.. you think that now Petey but your wrong. I finally gave in and showed up to his house. Our house. The place looks just like how I left it. Expect now there’s beer cans on the table and in the trash. The dishes are piling up and I can smell something weird coming from the fridge.<br/>
Seeing Peter again is like heaven. He looks heartbreaking. Fuck I missed him so much. I basically ran to him and smashed our mouths together. Pushing him against the wall was easy. He gave in fast. Licking the seam of his lips he gasped for air letting my tongue plunge into his mouth. He tasted like cheap beer and Peter. Fuck I missed him. My hands framing his face while his hands held my hips. I back away just to see the wild look in his eyes, his eyes lost of color taken over of black. I grab his hand and yank him to the sofa to push him to sit. Crawling I make way for my wide shoulders in between his legs. He just stares at me while I tug his sweatpants down, hands gripping the sides of the sofa knuckles turning white. I go in for the kill and swallow him down whole. I miss the taste of his dick, the precum, the musty smell of sex. I suck till I hear him moan and groan. He finally moves his hand and puts it on my head and forces my head down gently. Finally cumming inside my mouth. I swallow the load and stare at him. His eyes are ready to close. His mouth cracked open watching me. I lean back staring at his eyes. They give away all his emotions. Hurt, pain, guilt. Before he can speak I get up and head toward the door. He grabs at my wrist.<br/>
“Wade please don’t go-“<br/>
“Let go of me.” I growl back at him ripping my hand from his grip. I push the door open and start to run down the stairs.<br/>
“WADE!” I can hear him screaming and running after me but I’m already out of the building jumping into my car. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t be so weak and see him. Fuck why did I go over..</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. What the?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Peter finally gets to talk to Wade. But of course he doesn’t listen.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Peters POV</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sitting across from Jennifer I feel numb. She’s a beautiful woman so it’s not hard to stare at her. She has a small mouth with a cute smile with small dimples on the side. Her blonde hair is straight as a board but still shinny and looks amazing. She’s going on and on about her ex and how they are a fuck up.<br/>
I can’t stop thinking about Wade. Wade showing up a few weeks ago just to push me against the door. Fuck what was that? I wanted to stop and talk to him but I guess I can’t do that. He needs to tell me what I did wrong. What made him leave?<br/>
Jennifer is trying to get my attention. Something about work. I miss Wade.<br/>
I walk Jennifer home after and we hug goodbye. I feel something prick on the back of my neck telling me to turn quickly. Wade is staring at me about a foot away. I hold my breath. I’m scared that if I move he will run away and I’ll never have the chance to stand this close again. We stand on the sidewalk for such a long time that I start to fidget my feet.<br/>
“Have fun?” He grumbles at me.<br/>
“What do you mean? You left me! What fun do you think I’m having?!” I need to calm down or he will run, stop yelling Peter calm down.<br/>
He cocks a grin down at me.<br/>
“She’s real pretty. I’m not surprised with your choice. You always did like blondes.” He speaks the last words as if trying to understand something.<br/>
“I have no idea what your talking about Wade. Do you mean Jennifer? My coworker? We just met up for dinner nothing happened...is that why you left? Do you think I’m sleeping with her?!” I start to raise my voice in hysterics. What in the hell? Why would he think that about her?<br/>
“You two looked cozy is all. Texting her all day long, meeting her for late night dinners, and not paying attention to me. Figured you moved on. Finally couldn’t stand to see my ugly face. Looked at me and saw the monster I am. The killer you can’t stand.” He speaks with a rough voice as if he just smoked too many cigarettes. When he talks down about himself I know he truly believes it. We worked on it for months.<br/>
“Wade I love you. I’m not cheating. She’s GAY!!!” I wave my arms around screaming at the love of my life. I need him to understand. I need him back.<br/>
“Your lying. Stop trying to cover up your crap. Just fucken man up already Peter. Tell me the truth. You hate me and wanted something pretty to look at. You and I dated for years. We were partners before that and we are- were. We were a team and we did amazing together but I think it’s over. It’s done. I can’t do this anymore. Your moving on to bigger and better things. She’s hot Peter good for you. She will be pretty to wake up to. I’m sorry you wasted years on me. Wasted time by settling with this old ugly fuck. I hope your happy. Goodbye Peter. Don’t look for me anymore. “<br/>
“Wade no!-“ Wade is already pressing the button on his belt to transport himself somewhere else.<br/>
“FUCK! WADE DAMNIT!!!” All this day needed was rain and it would have been the perfect ending to this day. Fuck!!</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Peter goes out with Gwen and things happen.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Peter POV</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>*2 months later*<br/>Gwen calls me on a Saturday morning. I stopped taking calls from my friends and stopped answering texts. She should know I won’t answer. I haven’t left my apartment other than for work and for groceries and Spider-Man work. I barely eat anymore but since I’m Spider-Man I have the worst metabolism in the world and need to eat or I’ll faint. I already fainted once while working and I’m not going through that again. I expect the phone calls to stop. I expect everyone to leave me alone. Why can’t everyone just go away. I’m standing in my kitchen drinking a useless beer that won’t get me drunk and staring at my left over Mac and cheese from last night. Tacos aren’t the same without him. I’m not expecting the banging on my door. <br/>“Open the door I know your in there I can smell the depression!” She continues to bang in the door till I give up and go over to open it. <br/>“About time. Now hurry up and let me in we need to talk Mr I don’t answer my phone and everyone hates me” <br/>“I don’t think everyone hates me”I make a glum face because I truly don’t think that. Aunt may loves me.. right? <br/>“Well what else am I supposed to think? You hide away from the world for months Peter because of Wade. I know he left but come on you can’t let this control your life we need to go out. “She sits on the arms of my sofa while I lounge in the chair like a normal person. <br/>“Don’t say his name around me please. I am over him I don’t need to prove anything.”<br/>“Says you. If your so over him then you won’t mind coming with me and some coworkers to this club with us tonight. It’s called the Junkie and I’m excited as hell. We can finally get you out of this place and into the pants of someone new!” She claps to herself excited with her new plan as if dancing will make him come back. <br/>“To show you that I’m moved on and better I will go out tonight. So ha!”<br/>“Great then! I will tell some of my girls and I will text you the info later. Don’t flake out on me last minute Peter or I will be back here!” She jumps from her seat and rushes out the door with a wave of her hand goodbye. <br/>“What will I wear?” I mutter to myself. <br/>Hours pass and I finally get dressed. I put on some jeans I used to wear that fit me like a glove. Tight black jeans and a white plain top with a nice lumber jacket over it. Nothing too crazy. I slip on my converse as I walk out the door. I look around the rooftops as I walk up the sidewalk. I always check my area when I go walking now and days. Looking for him. I know I won’t see the flash of red but I’m still hoping I do. <br/>Getting to the club was easy after a quick ride on the subway. I walk to the front and see Gwen and some other woman with her. One woman is taller with long black hair and lots of eyeliner. She seems closed off but is smiling. One of the other woman is curvy and short with lots of bright colors going on. The last woman smiles at me like I’m the food that showed up to be ate.  <br/>“You made it!” She shrieks at me. “This is Amber, Shay, and Toni. Girls this is my oldest friend Peter. We are going to help him get out of a slump. He just got dumped and is super depres-“ <br/>“I’m not depressed and it’s fine. Hello ladies it’s nice to meet you. Can we go inside already and get this night over with?” I have my tightest smile on trying to put on a good face for the woman.  Toni I’m assuming walks up and grabs my arm with soft hands. <br/>“I’ll make sure you have an amazing night tonight honey. Don’t need to think of a silly ex around me” she winks at me. I’m not sure what to do in that moment but to open the club door and rush the ladies inside. <br/>This is a nightmare. Shay the shorter woman tells me she works with Gwen in photography and loves her job. By the end of the song I’m following her on Instagram. Amber the taller woman drinks at the bar and doesn’t talk to us but to some woman that she flirts with. I get pushed into dancing with Gwen and Toni. Toni keeps her hands on my chest and arms. <br/>“You feel amazing!” I can barely hear her over the music so I just nod my head looking stupid. “Let’s get out of here!” I still don’t understand her so I nod my head again. She grabs my hand and walks me to the back of the club to the bathrooms. We go into the woman’s restroom and pulls me inside. <br/>“I can’t come in here!” She doesn’t listen to me as she pushes me into a stall. She locks the door after us and shoves me against the door. She kisses down my neck and starts to yank off my jacket. <br/>“Stop it! What are you doing!”im growing nervous and my brain is fuzzy with drinks and my body is getting hard without my permission. <br/>“Giving you something to think about other than your ex” she’s sinking down onto the floor now she level with my dick. <br/>“I don’t need this seriously I’m fi-“ <br/>“Well this cock says other wise.” She rubs her fingers against my jeans and I knock my head back. I hear people coming into the bathroom and I shut up before we get caught. <br/>She unzips my jeans and starts to tug them down. What am I doing. I stare at the ceiling letting this happen to me. Maybe this will help me stop thinking. Maybe this is what I needed. Maybe I need to start dating woman again. <br/>She pulls my dick out and goes straight for the kill and swallows me whole. I hiss in a sharp breath. I clamp my hand over my mouth so the other people in the bathroom don’t hear me. She nods her head on my dick and licks her tongue around my head. I let my body enjoy it but my brain can’t stop thinking that my ex did this so much better. He knew how to make me cum so fast. How to play with the head. How to use teeth and how to suck at the right times. I block out the rest of the blowjob till I feel myself tighten up around my gut. I grunt as a warning before I cum in her mouth. I finally look down. She seems happy as she grins up at me. <br/>“Feeling better baby?” She stands up next to me. With heels she’s about my height. <br/>I nod and start pulling my pants back up. <br/>“Thanks but uhh I have to go. Tell Gwen I was sick or something. Bye” I run out of the bathroom before she can stop me. I find the back door and flee the scene. Going back home I think of before this. I think of Wade. Saying his name in my head halts me. I haven’t said his name in months. I miss him. Tonight was the first orgasm I’ve had since he left me. It didn’t feel good. I felt nothing. Getting home felt safe. I slowly took off the nights clothes. I slumped into bed and laid there. Thinking of Wade. It felt like a dream. I wish I felt his arms closing around me right now. God I miss Wade</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. What am I thinking?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Wade sees things.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Wades POV</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I wasn’t a creeper. No never. Nope. I just liked standing outside in the dark across the alley from my ex’s apartment. Watching him fuck some skanky ugly piece of shit bitch face face girl. She was probably nice...whatever. I watched Peter like I did most days. But tonight was different. A tall confident woman walked in. Peter opened the door and she walked in like she owned the place. Dropping her jacket to the sofa and grabbing Peters arms. Bringing him down to her they made out for a few minutes. She stood up and grabbed Peters hand and walked him around the sofa. Once I saw her get on her knees in front of him I walked away. What in the fuck was I doing? Watching Peter was one thing but watching him have sex with another person was completely different. I couldn’t get him out of my mind. This didn’t look like that Jennifer woman. Maybe he was telling the truth about her being gay? But even if it was true. He’s clearly moved on. <br/>I craned my head to the side to see what they were doing now. She was taking off her clothes while Peter had white knuckled the sofa cushions. I had to storm off again. He was better off without you. He was getting better sex and a better life without you. He didn’t need you. He pitied you. Your so fucken stupid to think he loved you. I walked to the edge of the building and watched the woman sitting on Peters lap riding him. He still had his hands to the side..how werid..maybe she didn’t like to be touched too much? I kept watching. She was beautiful and was having a good time. She was bouncing on his dick like I would have done any day of the week. Every move of her head I got to see Peters face. He had his eyes closed but cracked them open to look down at what their bodies were doing. I couldn’t look away at his face. Before I knew it Peter looked over her shoulder and his eye met mine. Recognition across his face he grabbed the woman and forced her off him. I ran. I heard the window open as I was running to the far end of the building. <br/>“WADE!!” I could hear his scream as I made the jump to the next building. Why was I so stupid to think his spidy sense wouldn’t let him know I was near by? Not like it ever worked before around me. I didn’t hear him coming to me so I guessed I was alright. I needed a drink and to stay away from him already. He wasn’t going to love me the same. I was going to be trapped in this circle of him calling for me just to say sorry. Just for me to be stupid and fall for his lies. Maybe I did want to be held in the middle of the night. Maybe I did want the morning pancakes and kisses. Fuck I missed him so much. Maybe I should give up and just pretend things were okay...maybe we should talk...next time. When he was alone.. next time. I was going to talk to Peter</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry about errors or anything. This is just flowing right out of me to the page</p></blockquote></div></div>
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